The past couple of weeks have been full of uncertain, prayerful, exciting, and thankful moments. When I came back to work after the new year, every employee of our company was notified that the company would be closing, for the most part, at the end of February. We were told that there was a small chance that the company could get a new job and we could stay on, but mostly we needed to be looking for new jobs, considering ours to be done in two months.
I have been working with this commercial construction company for the last three years. The job has never fallen into the "dream job" category for me, and I never imagined I would be here as long as I have been, yet I grew to appreciate certain elements of the job. A flexible schedule, a Christian working environment, great people, and great benefits all kept me here.
I have had a longing for a while now to do something else- something more creative, where I can interact with people more and work more on projects that actually interest me, yet found myself in the comfort of security and insurance and gradually realized it would take a lot for me to leave the "safety" that those securities provided.
I laugh at the way things happen and can only appreciate God's humor and provision in everything. In an odd way, when I got the news that our company was closing, I felt a sense of relief. Wierd? Yes. But I think that shows the state of where my heart had been in all of this. I knew I wanted to do something else, but didn't know how to pursue it, and essentially didn't feel the freedom because I felt I would be irresponsible to leave the comfort of a salary. I pretty much saw this as God forcing me to face my desires now :)
The couple of days before I got the news, I heard messages that all spoke to my desires to do something more. At church, the sermon talked about knowing who we want to be before listing what we want to accomplish. I knew that sitting at a desk waiting for time to pass was not who I wanted to be, much less what God had created me for. At bible study, we talked about desires and really communicating with God about how we should handle them. I have prayed about my desires many times before, but this message seemed to speak to my heart in a newer way. I also was convicted in a new way on saving money and spending less. I have struggled with wanting "stuff" for a long time. I think that comes naturally when you are exposed to beautiful things- there is always something new to enjoy! And there is nothing wrong with enjoying those things, but its more about why I "need to have" that stuff. In some ways, stuff had become a way of filling the void that my job had created. A way to find some "happiness" and justify my need for expressing creativity.
All that to say, I see now how God was preparing my heart. While it is never good news for a company to close, they see the bigger picture of God's provision (eventhough closing a company doesn't seem like provision). I see that God makes every situation personal for us, and if we are quiet enough to hear him speaking to us, we see that He really does love us. Eventhough moments might seem like He is "taking away", it essentially is a form of Him "giving" something else. Everything is happening as part of His perfect plan. Romans 8:28 says it best "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I was driving home the other day, feeling overwhelmed at the possibilites and work to be done. Praying, I told God I trust Him. I have a peace and I believe He is going to bring great things. I have struggled with a lack of rest though. I feel like I can't sit still because I need to be working to figure things out and come up with a plan. As I am praying I hear Matthew 11:28-30. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." What sweet words.
Where to go from here...
I am pursuing any leads that I hear of, and have some possibilites (so if you know of any, please let me know!). My husband would love for me to find a job that provides a salary, for obvious reasons, and I would love that too, however, I am being cautious to make sure it is related to my interests. When I found out the news, I really heard God confirming that this was my chance to pursue the desires I had neglected, so I am following that path. I am stepping into a place of uncertainty and fears, excitement and anticipation, because I know that is where God is calling me.
In the meantime, I have set up another blog related to the home. As part of the blog, I am offering services for home consultations, organizing, and staging, so please check it out and spread the word.
sheltertag.wordpress.com
sorry for the really long post!
I have been working with this commercial construction company for the last three years. The job has never fallen into the "dream job" category for me, and I never imagined I would be here as long as I have been, yet I grew to appreciate certain elements of the job. A flexible schedule, a Christian working environment, great people, and great benefits all kept me here.
I have had a longing for a while now to do something else- something more creative, where I can interact with people more and work more on projects that actually interest me, yet found myself in the comfort of security and insurance and gradually realized it would take a lot for me to leave the "safety" that those securities provided.
I laugh at the way things happen and can only appreciate God's humor and provision in everything. In an odd way, when I got the news that our company was closing, I felt a sense of relief. Wierd? Yes. But I think that shows the state of where my heart had been in all of this. I knew I wanted to do something else, but didn't know how to pursue it, and essentially didn't feel the freedom because I felt I would be irresponsible to leave the comfort of a salary. I pretty much saw this as God forcing me to face my desires now :)
The couple of days before I got the news, I heard messages that all spoke to my desires to do something more. At church, the sermon talked about knowing who we want to be before listing what we want to accomplish. I knew that sitting at a desk waiting for time to pass was not who I wanted to be, much less what God had created me for. At bible study, we talked about desires and really communicating with God about how we should handle them. I have prayed about my desires many times before, but this message seemed to speak to my heart in a newer way. I also was convicted in a new way on saving money and spending less. I have struggled with wanting "stuff" for a long time. I think that comes naturally when you are exposed to beautiful things- there is always something new to enjoy! And there is nothing wrong with enjoying those things, but its more about why I "need to have" that stuff. In some ways, stuff had become a way of filling the void that my job had created. A way to find some "happiness" and justify my need for expressing creativity.
All that to say, I see now how God was preparing my heart. While it is never good news for a company to close, they see the bigger picture of God's provision (eventhough closing a company doesn't seem like provision). I see that God makes every situation personal for us, and if we are quiet enough to hear him speaking to us, we see that He really does love us. Eventhough moments might seem like He is "taking away", it essentially is a form of Him "giving" something else. Everything is happening as part of His perfect plan. Romans 8:28 says it best "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I was driving home the other day, feeling overwhelmed at the possibilites and work to be done. Praying, I told God I trust Him. I have a peace and I believe He is going to bring great things. I have struggled with a lack of rest though. I feel like I can't sit still because I need to be working to figure things out and come up with a plan. As I am praying I hear Matthew 11:28-30. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." What sweet words.
Where to go from here...
I am pursuing any leads that I hear of, and have some possibilites (so if you know of any, please let me know!). My husband would love for me to find a job that provides a salary, for obvious reasons, and I would love that too, however, I am being cautious to make sure it is related to my interests. When I found out the news, I really heard God confirming that this was my chance to pursue the desires I had neglected, so I am following that path. I am stepping into a place of uncertainty and fears, excitement and anticipation, because I know that is where God is calling me.
In the meantime, I have set up another blog related to the home. As part of the blog, I am offering services for home consultations, organizing, and staging, so please check it out and spread the word.
sheltertag.wordpress.com
sorry for the really long post!
